listening to Death Cab’s “The New Year” (source for this post’s title) every Jan 1 is becoming a sort of yearly ritual.
as is re-reading all my blog posts from the previous year, which, for the first time in quite a few years, I managed to do immediately after midnight.
two things sprang to my mind after typing the previous sentence. the first, rather less relevant one relates to Communication, Psychology, Experience. as part of my research for the essay I wrote for that module I read about therapeutics, which is that culture of psychological self-help that pervades our modern existences in neoliberal societies (N.B. I sound like I know more than I really do here and in the bit that follows). forms of writing, especially diaristic practices e.g. blogging, can be seen as a form of confession, in which the writer ‘writes’ himself as a subject to be known and understood by himself and other readers. such practices contribute to forming an identity inextricably linked with psychological concepts: growth, emotional maturity, etc.
ok, /end academic pretensions. nonetheless, I’ve done some really interesting theory stuff this year, especially with Cultural Studies in the Spring and both the psychology- and sociology-related courses in the Autumn. I don’t think I can say such things with any real certainty, but I would venture that my perspectives have widened. it is a real blessing to be able to learn all this stuff - it’s been good enough that postgrad studies seems like a possible option in the future. photography and script & prose (particularly people’s very gratifying comments) have been great too, and I hope practice continues to surprise and prove fruitful even if it gets frustrating.
the second thing related to re-reading all my 2011 blog posts is the fact that I read them immediately after midnight. new year’s eve this time was a very small affair, and the people who came didn’t stay for the countdown as they had other plans. I was in the shower at the stroke of midnight actually, and it felt a little strange – sad? – to come out and see the fireworks and the flares from the ships, but the house all silent and my family already asleep. I admit I still feel a little pathetic about being removed from all the celebration, being alone. can’t be helped I suppose. since turning 21, the sense of people having other commitments and other people to be with has only got stronger. to be honest, I haven’t come to terms with that yet. I have a feeling I won’t till I get myself a girlfriend, if that ever happens (and even if it does…). in a way it makes me feel more determined to settle into myself. still, I’m very glad for my circle of friends, you all know who you are.
it’s been an eye-opening year in other ways. visited Belgium, Turkey, Israel, Paris, Venice, Rome, Munich, Copenhagen, Oxford, Bath, Windsor, Stratford-upon-Avon, etc… pretty amazing thinking back on it now. had a great holiday with great company in Bintan. voted for the first time in my life and laid a foundation for my view of politics (?). found and moved into a house (again, with great company). became an uncle. played far too many games of Saboteur. had the best summer of my life, probably.
there’s a lot to be grateful for. I realise that more and more every year. so here’s to 2012.
